Air Travelers — Quit Whining and Spread ‘Em!

I know, I know, it’s not YOUR fault that some Al Qaeda asswipe hid a bomb in his taint.  But he got the bomb on the plane and it’s only because he was functionally retarded that he didn’t blow up an airplane filled with jolly Christmas travelers over Detroit — the flaming wreckage of which would have resulted in some much needed urban improvement, but that many dead people would be a BAD thing.

SO QUIT WHINING, so the yapping empty heads on CNN and MSNBC (I don’t know what they’re saying on Faux News because there isn’t enough water in the local reservoir to waterboard me into watching that unfiltered teabagger propaganda) can stop yapping about the HORRORS of getting your BOOBIES almost touched to make sure you aren’t packing PLASTIC EXPLOSIVES where your NIPPLES should be, you bomb-carrying terrorist transvestite!

Seriously.  If there ever was a media-crafted SCARE story, it’s THIS one.  They showed a picture the other day of a nun getting felt up by TSA agents.  Yes.  A nun.  BECAUSE THE LAST THING A TERRORIST WOULD EVER TRY TO DO IS DISGUISE HIM OR HERSELF AS SOMETHING THAT WOULD AVOID SUSPICION!!!

You know what?  Here’s an idea.  You don’t want a dude with a plastic blue glove checking your ball sack, DON’T FLY!  Ride the bus.  Take the train.  I’ve done both and have NEVER had my junk probed by ANYONE… as interesting as this would have made the trips.

If you have a better idea for making sure that terrorists aren’t sneaking C-4 and a box of kitchen matches onto a plane by poking it up their ass, then let’s hear it.  And no, you can’t just check every Middle Easterner.  As nice and satisfyingly racist as that idea may seem at first, like I said — when they DO blow up a plane, it will be with someone that NOBODY SUSPECTED.

So if you’re gonna fly, quit your whining, spread your legs and think warm thoughts.

Related articles

• Security protest could disrupt Thanksgiving travel (thenewstribune.com)
• A Terrorist can now bypass TSA security altogether via accommodation (votingfemale.wordpress.com)
• Is America Freaking Out Too Much Over Naked Body Scans? (minx.cc)
• You: Al-Qaeda affiliate threatens more small-scale bomb attacks (washingtonpost.com)
• U.S. security rethinking airline screening: Official (windsorstar.com)

I Refuse to Be Discouraged

If the punditry is to be believed, today America is going to take a huge step backwards.  The republicans have PROMISED and CROSSED THEIR HEARTS and HOPED TO DIE that they would NOT do the same things they did for the years they were in charge and for which the Democrats have had a WHOLE TWO YEARS to clean up.  And because Americans have the memory of a goldfish, we believe them.  So, there will likely be a GOP tidal wave with control of Congress — maybe the Senate — going Republican.

Then they can spend the next two years doing what Senate Minority Leader McConnell said was the TOP PRIORITY of the 2011-2012 GOP — and that’s keep Barack Obama from being elected.  Not “improving the economy.”  Not “creating jobs.”  Getting rid of Obama.  That’s the top priority.  They will investigate him.  They will subpoena him.  They will do everything to stall his agenda.  They will make sure YOUR tax break is funneled to the wealthiest 2%.  They will neuter health care reform.  They will ensure that their Wall Street banker buddies get fatter and fatter at YOUR EXPENSE.  If you vote GOP, and are NOT rich, you are VOTING AGAINST YOUR OWN SELF INTEREST!!!  AND NONE OF THIS IS SECRET!  They have SAID this is what they are going to do!

But, as I said, we Americans aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer.  We can barely tear our eyes away from “The Amazing Race” and “Project Runway” long enough to learn the issues… so we just listen to the loudest voices and vote like they tell us to.  Then we bleat contentedly and tune back in to the mindless fodder of “American Idol” until the next time.

But I refused to be discouraged.  Same with Gail.  In about an hour, we’re headed to our local polling place.  We will vote for O’Malley as Governor, Mikulski as Senator, Sarbanes as Congressman.  We will do all WE can.  That’s all any of us can do.

If you are a progressive, and you don’t vote today, then I blame YOU for what happens today and over the next two years.  It will be YOUR fault.  The GOP and Tea Party have been VERY CLEAR as to what THEIR plans are.  You have no excuse.  If they win, it’s because progressives didn’t vote.

If you haven’t voted… do it.  Do it now.  Or bear the blame for the mess that will follow.

Related articles

• McConnell defends his petty partisanship (washingtonmonthly.com)
• Republicans beware: Seeking blood usually leaves you bloody (money.cnn.com)
• Mitch McConnell Refuses to Clearly State the Truth About President Obama’s Religion (theroot.com)
• McConnell says top priority for GOP congress is to make Obama a one-term president (americablog.com)
• Obama Urges Dems Not To Get Discouraged (huffingtonpost.com)
• Can Democrats Still Win? (nytimes.com)