1. OMFG! It SNOWED! In DECEMBER! In the WINTER! In NEW YORK CITY!!!
And because of this, that is the major news story in the world today. Forget the war. Forget the economy. Forget everything else. It snowed in the winter in New York City. Major headlines six months from now?
OMFG! It’s HOT! In JUNE! In the SUMMER! In NEW YORK CITY!!!
Blah, blah, blah!
And, like GOOD New Yorkers, the fine citizens of that fair city are turning their wrath onto their mayor. Someone should call Jane Byrne in Chicago and ask HER how mismanagement of a snow storm helped HER political career as mayor. I think she’s parking cars in a downtown parking lot now.
2. IDIOTS AND THEIR CELL PHONES ON PLANES
According to the CNN story, a 68-year-old Idaho man has been charged with misdemeanor battery after police say he struck a teen who would not turn off his phone while the plane they were in was taxiing for takeoff. Reading the comments to this story, you get the feeling that the old man is the one who was wrong here. BULL!
THEY TELL YOU DURING THE TAKEOFF INSTRUCTIONS THAT ELECTRONIC DEVICES MUST BE TURNED OFF! There’s a REASON for that. They say that CELL PHONES can INTERFERE with plane’s NAVIGATION system, and I will be DAMNED if I want my pilot to crash the plane into another airplane in the sky because little SCOOTER wouldn’t turn off his TWITTER account for the duration of the flight. They should give this old guy an AWARD, not a fine or jail time.
3. SALMONELLA OUTBREAK LINKED TO SPROUTS
My advice? Stick to meat and cheese. Maybe some mayo on that sammich. So much for “eating healthy.”
4. This is actually related to #2. AIRLINE PASSENGERS FINALLY UNLOADED AFTER 11 HOURS ON JFK TARMAC
Why in the name of Almighty God in his Celestial Glory did you WAIT for 11 hours before letting these poor people off this plane?
“There were a lot of people on the plane crying,” said passenger Christina Edgar. “It was really a tough situation.”
Turns out there was a reason. NATIONAL SECURITY!
“We also had four flights come into LaGuardia, but because they were domestic flights we were able to get them off,” said Port Authority spokesman Steve Coleman.
Coleman said that because the JFK flights were international, they had to be unloaded in specific customs areas to undergo screening.
“There is just no place that you can dump 1,000 people in a secured area for a period of time,” Coleman said.
Well, no WONDER! I wouldn’t put it PAST those Al Qaeda murdering bastards to have WHIPPED UP this Class III Kill Storm just to give their agents an opportunity to mill around in an airport for hours on end.
The stupidity. The stupidity.
5. BRETT FAVRE’S STREAK OF CONSECUTIVE STARTS SNAPPED AT “1”
Yet, somehow, the Hated Minnesota Vikings found it within themselves to beat Philly 24-14. Favre started last week’s game, left with an owie boo-boo and sat out for last night’s game. This was after having his record, iron-man streak of 297 consecutive starts snapped two weeks ago.
Someone who is running against Rahm Emanuel for Mayor of Chicago is mad that former President Bill Clinton is stumping for the former congressman, Obama chief of staff.
Rep. Danny Davis, a Democrat from Illinois and mayoral candidate in Chicago has a message for former President Bill Clinton: Butt out. Davis, a onetime ally of Clinton’s, issued a strongly worded statement Tuesday, in which the Chicago Democrat said he is “seriously concerned and disturbed” by the news Clinton plans to throw his weight behind ex-Obama chief of staff Rahm Emanuel and make a campaign stop in the Windy City next month.
In other words, “We love you Bubba. Now beat it.”
7. FORMER FUNNY MAN, CURRENT CONSERVATIVE TOOL REALLY LOVES GIRL HALF HIS AGE
55-year old Kelsey Grammar really, really loves 29-year old Kayte Walsh.
Kelsey Grammer, 55, spoke to People about his engagement to girlfriend Kayte Walsh, 29, saying, “Kayte and I are marrying because we are engaged, and we are engaged because we are in love and see no reason to postpone our happiness any longer.” Though he did not say when the two will marry, he added, “We are planning something we wish to be a private affair among several of our friends. Anything else is conjecture and false. Kayte and I are the only reliable source for this story. End of story.”
Word is, Kayte really, really loves marrying Grammer’s money even though his career as of late consists of starring in conservative trash movies like “An American Carol” and providing the voice of “Sideshow Bob” on the Simpsons.
8. WANNA KNOW WHO REALLY HATES WHOM?
Here’s the list!
9. THE 2010 AWARD FOR NOT KNOWING WHEN TO QUIT (USUALLY, IT’S WHEN OTHER PEOPLE ARE LAUGHING AT YOU) goes to…
10. AND JUST IN CASE YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT THE RUMOR ABOUT JUSTIN BIEBER BEING SEEN BUYING CONDOMS…
It’s none of your business. So there.
And so it goes.
Parky Bill's Parkinson's Disease Place 